A Second Chance At Living
by Sango luvz Miroku
Summary: Was this to be my life? An eternity at her side? As her child, her lover, her companion, her minion? No.. There has to be a better way to spend an endless life. I have to be able to offer something good to the world. Jasper/Maria eventually Jasper/Alice.
1. Chapter 1 Prologue

**Prologue**:

The sky was black as ink, stars speckled over the surface like glittering jewels. The air was warm, making one sweat lightly as they walked though it. But it didn't matter to her, she felt no warmth.

She walked beside her two comrades, her eyes searching the dark carefully. Her senses were keen, analyzing every sound, scent and sight around her. The other two were less observant, chattering lightly to each other as they walked. But she had known better. There were only three of them, meaning they were fairly weak. If they were to be attacked, they would be decimated.

Her eyes widened as a breeze swept over the hills and swirled around them. The two blondes that she traveled with moaned in unison, and she felt compelled to do the same but did not. The air smelled of fresh blood, a cluster of humans not far off.

"Ohh.. So good". The blond sang as the other nodded vigorously.

"Easy Nettie". The brunette said sternly. "You will soon feed".

"I know Maria, it has just been so long". Nettie said stubbornly as Maria shook her head.

"We are not the only vampire's in this territory right now, we must be careful". Maria said with narrowed eyes as Nettie nodded.

"Well lets go then". The other blonde said, glancing toward the sky.

They could leap the distance effortlessly and take them all, but they wouldn't do that. They would hunt as they usually did, drawing the humans to them. And when their defenses were lowered, they would take them.

"Let's go girls". Maria hissed into the wind as the two blondes grinned widely. They started walking oncemore, letting their grace and poise manipulate their movements. They seemed almost to be dancing, as each foot fell onto the dirt path lightly. If music had been playing, their steps would have matched it completely.

Maria smirked, throwing her hand out into the air. "One little human this way comes". She snickered as the two laughed softly.

A man was riding over the hilltop, his blonde hair glowing in the moonlight, as his body bounced up and down on the steed.

Nessie grinned widely, looking down at Maria quickly as she licked her pink lips.

He stopped a few feet from them, leaping off the saddle effortlessly. He strode toward them carefully, his long limbs hanging loosely off his slender body. His eyes flickered over each of their faces, widening in awe.

The horse was pulling against the reins, fighting to get away as his dark eyes filled with fear. Clever beast, he knew just what they were.

He stopped in front of them, examining each of their faces silently as his hand tightened on the rein.

"He's speechless." The tall blonde Lucy sang into the still air as his eyes flashed at her.

Nettie grinned hungrily, her thirst fighting wildly against her self restraint. She dipped her head toward him, her eyes shutting slightly as she inhaled. "Mmm.. Lovely". She sighed as Maria's eyes flashed up at her.

Her small hand was around Nette's arm tightly, her voice clear and authoritative as she spoke. "Concentrate Nettie". She glanced back at the man thoughtfully, her eyes dancing over his frame. "He looks right". She noted softly, her eyes turning to his face. "Young, strong, an officer". She said looking over his uniform. She turned back to the two blondes. "And theres something more, can you sense it"? She glanced back at him smoothly as she smiled. "He's compelling".

It was true, this man exuded a force that almost claimed her mind. He had a gift, something rare among their kind. She knew he would be right for their cause.

"Oh yes." Nettie said leaning toward him again.

"Patience". Maria said, sensing Nettie's blood lust. She would not let her kill this man, not until she fully understood his power. "I want to keep this one". She hissed as Nettie drew back with a frown.

"You better do it then Maria. If he's important to you. I kill them twice as I keep them". Lucy said as the man shuttered and the horse tried to break free again.

"Yes. I will do it", Maria said looking at him again. "Take this one away will you? I don't want to have to watch my back while I am trying to focus". Maria said softly as the man tensed.

"Let's hunt". Nettie said happily, her eyes lit up with happiness. She took Lucy's hand tightly, turning on the balls of her feet and disappering into the darkness in a blur of white fabric.

The man gaped after them, Maria examining his expression silently. His eyes turned back down to her slowly, his hand trembling against the reins. "What is your name soldier"? She whispered as the horse tugged against the reins, stepping backward slowly.

"Major Jasper Whitlock ma'am". He stammered, his voice filled with a reverance she'd heard only in the voices of men of wealth.

"I truly hope you survive, Jasper". She said gently to him as she took a step toward him. "I have a good feeling about you".

The horse finally broke out of his grip, bucking and wailing softly. The man remained still, watching her lean her head toward him.

She used every bit of her vampire abilities to draw him in, to lull him into a false sense of ease. It always made the process go so much easier. Leaning toward his neck, she adjusted herself over his heart, licking her lips carefully. She had to do this just right, restrain herself so that she doesn't kill him. Biting his heart would be it would be the quickest way to ensure success. Her hand wrapped around his waist, closing around his belt loop as she closed her eyes.

She plunged her teeth into the tender skin above his heart, feeling his muscles tense and push against her. The horse screamed wildly, bucking and throwing it's large head back and forth. She drank a little of his blood, the liquid cooling her burning throat. Ah.. So sweet this blood. But she needed to remain focused.

She whispered into his ear, easing his fears as his body limped in her grasp. His legs melted toward the ground, his long body bending backward against her arm. She knelt forward, lowering him to the dirt as his eyes fell shut.

She looked over him softly for a moment, her hand brushing back his soft hair.

Hopefully his heart was strong enough, hopefully he could survive. Now she could feed, he was safe.

Without thinking, she dropped him on the ground and latched herself onto the steed's neck and drained it dry. Just as she finished, Nettie and Lucy returned, eyeing the man silently. "Let's go girls". Maria said, brushing her hand through her hair as Lucy knelt down.

Lucy lifted his body onto her shoulders, rising easily to her feet as Nettie glided to her side.

Nettie looked over the man's face softly, her grin appearing. "He will make a fine vampire." She whispered as Maria nodded.

"Yes. That he will". She smirked as she turned away, disappearing down the road as the others followed.


	2. Chapter 2 Wake Me From This Nightmare

Darkness.. Everything around me black. I was sinking deeper into it, it was swallowing me completely. I fought against it, trying to claw my way toward the flickering light so high above me. So far.. So far away it seemed.

Cold.. It was so cold. The air around me felt cold as ice. It stuck to the inside of my nose and mouth, freezing every vein and tissue. I wanted warmth. So badly I wanted to be out of this cold.

I opened my eyes further, seeing miles and miles of bare land flying beneath me. Trees, rocks, rivers, they were tiny specks on the ever expanding earth below. How could I see this? Was I dead? Did those ghost women kill me? No.. Please no. I could not have died like that.

I saw the sky above me, black as the devil's pupil. How could this be? Where was I?

Suddenly I felt fire, my entire body erupted in flames beneath my skin. It seared my nerves, burned my eyelashes and traveled into my throat. I wanted to scream but my throat felt so raw.

I cried out, my eyes flowing with tears as I tried to force the scream out of me. Someone, someone had to hear my cries, someone had to save me.

I saw a white ceiling above me, wood paneling leading from it to the floor. Where was I?

I saw a broken glass window, and something bulky on the floor beside it. What was that? I stared at it for as long as my eyes would allow me, and I still couldn't figure out what it was. The fire continued, snapping my focus back to it.

I clenched my teeth together, my lips were on fire. I opened my eyes again, turning my head, leaning against something soft. Then I saw it. Or her rather.

One of the blond women was sitting beside me, her dark eyes narrowed. She was smirking, her face so sinister looking in the light of the candle that sat on the table beside her.

Purely on impulse I struck out at her, my fingers outstretching toward her slender throat. She seemed so impossibly far, no matter how much I stretched I could not touch her. I didn't care. I would kill her, squeeze the very life out of her for doing this to me. Manners or values it didn't matter, everything was out of my mind but the thought of cracking her windpipe in my hand.

My hand finally found her throat, and to my shock her skin was not as cold as I would have anticipated. It didn't matter, I tightened my grip until I saw fear flicker through her eyes.

She stared away from me, panick stricken, her eyelids pulled back tight. Why did she not look me in the eyes?

I felt two pairs of hands pressing firmly onto my shoulders, jerking my hand away from her neck. No. How dare they not let me kill her!

I looked up the slender arms to their owners, the brunette and the smaller blond leaning over me.

"Careful, if you press too hard you will break his bones, he is not yet changed". The small brunette whispered hurriedly as the pressure of the blonde's hands lifted. I growled deeply, my anger and resentment reaching the surface. I don't know what came over me, but I wanted to rip all three of these women to pieces. Another pair of hands closed on my wrists forcing them over my head. The fire was still flowing freely through me, burning everything it touched.

I cringed, hearing my own cries echoing around me. My eyes squeezed shut as the fire reached it's peak. Such torture, when would this end?

"Yes". I could hear the brunette say, her voice not as songful as before. "It is almost time".

Almost time? For what? My death? Would I finally die and be rid of this pain?

Before my mind could process another thought, all the strength I had in me quickly drained. Every muscle turned to liquid, my arms falling limply at my sides. I felt my eyes rolling back in my head, but tried to focus on the brunette's face as she smiled coldly at me. That devil. If I could just lift my arms I would rip her to pieces. A gasp escaped my lips, but not after tearing my throat raw. I felt so cold, the fire long dying away. Weak, so weak.. I felt like a dying doe with a bullet in it's skull. It was taking so long for me to die.

Finally, my body and mind numbed and I felt nothing. I couldn't keep my eyes open and it felt as if my heart had stilled in my chest. So this is what it's like to die.

I fell backward, my eyes shutting and my mind plunging back into darkness once more as the women let out a collective long sigh.

* * *

When I awoke later, there was light, it was everywhere, it was as if the black void I fell into had disappeared completely. My eyes flickered open, burning as the sunlight passed beyond my eyelashes.

I blinked quickly, seeing strange beams of light on the walls as if the sun was reflected against a mirror. And I saw the dust, dancing and twirling through the beams of light as it floated in the air. Such a strange sight, had I awoken in heaven?

For a moment I lay still, watching a particular piece of dust float on the breeze out the double doors.

I breathed slowly, the motion doing little for me. No air seemed to enter my body, I might as well have not breathed at all.

My mind said I should rise from the bed, and just as the thought entered my brain, my body did the action. My head felt light, weightless as I pushed myself to a sitting position. My limbs felt graceful, my fingers long and sturdy as I pressed them into the soft mattress beneath me.

I glanced around me, finally taking in everything in the room.

It was a bedroom, much like the one I had as a child. A pair of glass doors led out to a long balcony that wrapped around the corner of the house. A vanity stood against the wall, a white dress shirt draped over the back of the wooden chair in front of was a simple room, no particular splendors that would make it different from my own home. It seemed quite plain really, nothing but the vanity and the bed.

I glanced to my left, my eyes trailing through the doors to an adjoining room with a porcelain tub in the center. It was smooth and clean, with legs made of bronze. It looked as if it belonged in a Parisian flat rather than what I assumed to be a plantation home. My eyes moved over the rim of the tub as they light shone on it, causing it to glimmer. It looked as if it'd never been touched, like a piece of artwork that no one was allowed to disturb. I pulled my eyes away from the tub, studying the room around me once more.

Everything looked so strange to me, and I saw so much.

I could see the little seams in the fabric of the sheets, tightly woven cotton.

I could see the long lines in the grain of the wood on the floor, they were like veins weaving across the surface. And it looked so life like, as if the wood were still in a living tree.

The mirror fascinated me the most, the reflection of a strange blond haired man staring back at me. Who was this man?

He looked like me, but never as I had seen myself before. I touched my hand to my cheek, the figure doing the same in the mirror. I felt soft, yet firm at the same time, as if iron replaced the bones beneath my skin. I traced my fingers down my jaw, resting them against my pink lips. They seemed to possess the same texture, soft yet firm. I lifted my hand in front of my eyes, staring at the small waves on the tips of my fingers that I had known my entire life.

My fingers seemed so much more textural, every line in my finger tip was pronounced. And my skin! My skin seemed to glow, almost shine in the sunlight.

I snapped my head toward the window as a strange noise reached my ears. I listened intently, stilling my breathing as to not create extra sound.

It was a horse, somewhere off in the distance. But no, not one horse, many! I could hear every stomp of their hoofs on the grass and every soft crack in their bones when they threw their heads back and forth. But there was something else... Many soft thumps, and not just one, but a whole series of them. Each beat individually, some fast and some slow.

My head whipped around toward the door as I heard a creak in the wood in the hall. Something was coming, or rather, someone. But unlike the horses I didn't hear any beats, just silence and the gradual dropping of a foot onto the wood. The door knob was turning a moment later, the brunette girl peering through the crack in the door silently.

I tensed instantly, curling my fingers back into a fist as I hissed. Hissed? Is that really what I just did? Like a snake? What was wrong with me?

She seemed unfazed by my reaction, gliding into the room gracefully as her long dark hair bounced against her shoulders.

I leaned back against the bedpost as she drew closer to me. Her demeanor was so calm yet something in her awoke fear in me; she wore the mask of a harmless woman, but her eyes spoke the truth, they held in them her true nature. I looked over her placid expression fearfully, resentment and anger building in me. She was a demon, but more than that she was a woman. I could break her, it seemed such an easy thing to do. That fragile neck, I could crush it if I wanted to. I growled deeply, lashing out at her wildly. She dodged it effortlessly, settling herself on the bed with a dark grin.

"You're alive." She said looking over me quickly, her eyes finally locking on mine. "I'm glad. I'm Maria, I created you".

"What have you done"? I snapped, my eyes narrowing as I looked over her.

She tilted her head to the side, smiling wickedly. "I made you a god". She was reaching out to me, her slender hand about to touch my cheek.

I willed myself away from her, suddenly finding myself on the opposite side of the room. I crouched on the wood, my eyes falling onto the lumps beside the glass door I had seen earlier.

They were two bodies, black slaves, drained completely of blood, their eye sockets vacant.

I pressed against the wall, hissing through my teeth as she looked up at me silently.

"Why are you surprised? That is going to be your life from now on". She muttered softly with a look of pure amusement on her face.

"What do you mean?" I bit out, my eyes flashing over her narrow face. "What have you done?!"

"I've already told you. You're a god." She said floating off the bed in one movement.

"Stop saying that you devil witch"! I stepped to the side, sliding along the wall as she walked toward me.

"If I am a devil then you are as well dear Jasper". She sang darkly as I shook my head. "Look at yourself closely. You will see the changes". She motioned to mirror and I nervously turned my head.

The same strikingly beautiful man was staring back at me, with high cheek bones, messy blond hair and piercing red eyes. I pulled away, shutting my eyes as she laughed lightly.

"Do not fret Jasper. I will tell you everything of what you are". She said in a tone that mocked one of a mother speaking to her child.

"Stop talking". I muttered holding my hands over my ears. Her voice was like electricity in my ears, shocking and numbing every nerve.

"Do you want me to show you instead"? She whispered darkly as her sinister smile grew. A second later she was out the doors, flying through the air as if she were light as a leaf. She fell over the side of the balcony, disappearing into the fields.

She was back before I could breathe, standing before me with a frightened girl tucked under her arm.

I sucked in a breath, watching the girl struggle against her slender arm.

"Beautiful isn't she? I could make her one of us if you'd like". She said softly, brushing her fingers across the girl's forehead into her hair. Her eyes flickered up at me, a gaze more aloof and cold than one I could have imagined from a human. She completely disregarded this girl's life, looked at her as if she were nothing. And I was right, I heard it in her voice. "But she is weak." Her lips turned down into a frown, her eyes falling half way shut.

"What do you mean one of us"? I stammered, watching the girl look at me wearily.

"I will show you now." Her eyes shut tightly, her chest rising as she inhaled the air around the girl. "Listen.. Smell.. Use your senses and see what you are no longer". She muttered looking at me strongly.

I didn't want to do as she said, but I felt that my will was gone. I listened to the air, hearing nothing but a series of twittering thumps. One. Two. Three. Four. Five. It was thumping so quickly. What was that?

I then smelt the air, my throat burning as I did. Something was in the air, an aroma so enthralling and delicious I almost moaned.

"Smells good doesn't it"? She said softly, bowing her head toward the girl's head, her small nose brushing across the girl's dark ringlets. "Far better than anything you will smell from now on". She brushed the girl's hair away from her face, exposing her tan neck.

The captive girl whimpered her eyes leaking with transparent tears, her breathes were shuttered, her body quivering wildly.

I took a step forward, arriving in front of her effortlessly. What would have taken me five steps before, only took me one. I lifted my hand, dropping it against the girl's cheek as she cried loudly.

Her skin felt so warm, so soft and fragile, it was like paper under my light touch. My fingers pressed into her hair line, the soft strands sticking under my fingernails. I bowed toward her, watching her wide brown eyes turn up toward me.

"Let me show you". She whispered, her eyes glittering excitedly. She brushed the hair away off her neck flipping it over her shoulder, as she did, an even more intoxicating aroma filled my nostrils. Her eyes widened as a thought flickered across them. "Or better yet," She muttered, pushing the girl into my arms. "Let us see what your instinct reveal to you".

I looked down at her, my hands resting carefully on her shoulders. She felt so very frail, breakable really. If I wanted to I felt I could break her in half. I drummed my fingers against her shoulder blades, watching her eyes widen.

I pulled her against my chest, my chin pressing into her thick hair. My body was acting beyond my control; I was tracing my lips down the side of her face and across her lips, each of her shutters radiating through my skin. I could feel her breath wash over me, sweet and light and tasting of wine.

I pressed my head into the nape of her neck, the warmth of her skin heating my face.

"Drink". Maria whispered, her fingers lightly floating over the vein along the length of the girl's neck.

"What"? I shook my head looking up at her as her eyes narrowed and she threw her hand behind my head.

She shoved my face against her neck, forcing my mouth open against her skin.

It happened so quickly; my teeth were pressing into the skin, breaking it and opening a wound. I closed my eyes, trying to pull away from the blood rushing against my lips, but it passed behind my teeth and I forgot any hesitation. I drank and drank, crushing her body into me.

It was over soon, Maria's hand jerking on the girl's hair and snapping her from my grasp. I looked up and saw the girl's body laying limply on the bed, her skin grey and eyes vacant.

"Very good". Maria said proudly, her hand touching my face. She leaned toward me, her lips brushing briefly over mine, drying the blood from them. "Let's go meet Nettie and Lucy". She took my hand, pulling me alongside her as she passed out the door.

I followed her instinctively, not knowing what else to do. The blood had made me obedient or at least curious. She knew about all of my new talents, and the thirst I was feeling, and something about her drew me nearer to her.

I glanced over the railing, my eyes falling on a pair of blond haired women sitting on the wood floor of the foyer. They were the two I'd seen that night, I knew that for sure; they looked so much more beautiful to me, mostly because I wasn't scared of them anymore.

"He's awaken". The tall one grinned, her red eyes turning up at me.

"Finally. Maria we want to hunt". The other said as Maria rolled her eyes.

"Always the same with you Nettie". Maria groaned as she looked back at me. "That is Nettie and the other is Lucy. They are our comrades, so don't kill them". She said sharply as I nodded.

"Let's test his strength." Lucy said excitedly, looking down at Maria as we stopped at the bottom of the stairs.

"Yes." Maria grinned, her eyes sweeping across the room. "Let's do that".

* * *


	3. Chapter 3 New World

I should have been hesitant when she said that, but I wasn't. Clearly there was something different about me, I had seen it in Lucy's eyes the night before. She feared me, feared something inside of me, that was clear. Was I stronger than her? Than all of them? It didn't seem likely as I watched them fly out the doors, their feet barely touching the wood.

Maria dragged me behind her, quickening her pace as she leaped off the porch.

I followed after her, the movement seemed effortless to me. All I did was will myself into the air and then I was flying. I told my feet to move faster and they flashed across the grass beneath me. It was amazing to me; gravity, time, none of it affected me. We had covered what I estimated to be several miles in just a few seconds as we were standing now in an empty field.

Maria released my hand, dancing away to Nettie's side with the same sinister look in her eyes as when she brought the girl to me.

"We should find something for him to hunt"! Lucy said eagerly, grinning up at me. "Cattle perhaps"?

"No. We need something faster! Horses"! Nettie said as Maria shook her head.

"No. Something smarter." She shook her head sharply as she looked from them to me. "Human." She sang as the other two clapped their hands.

"Oh yes! That is great! Or better yet would be a vampire"! Nettie chimed as I watched the three talk amongst themselves.

The word _vampire _seemed to come so effortlessly off her tongue. She spoke as if there were others besides the four of us. It didn't seem to sit right with me, knowing there might be.

A creature that I had just recently believed to be nothing more than a myth was now known to me as the ultimate predator, and I was one of them. And there were others, somewhere out there. Would I know when I saw them?

"In due time". Maria said waving her hand as she tossed her hair. "He must be ready first, otherwise he might turn on one of us".

Nettie's eyes flickered up at me, her brows pulling together. "That is true. Wouldn't want that."

I looked over their heads, my eyes dragging over the miles and miles of plains that lay before us, the world seemed to open before my eyes.

"Jasper". Maria said appearing at my side, I looked down at her slowly, her crimson eyes burning into mine. "Let's go into town, I want you to hunt some more."

I nodded obediently, running beside her as Nettie and Lucy followed behind.

When we entered the town everything changed. In the fields I could think, my mind was clear and free to move from one thought to another. But when we entered the town, all I could think of was my thirst. It consumed me entirely, leaving little room for any other thought or feeling.

We stalked down the dirt road, Maria floating ahead of us. Naturally she took the lead, Nettie and Lucy flanking me on either side. I wondered why they did this. Was Maria stronger than them? Why did they show her such allegiance? Did they perhaps feel the draw I did toward her, the willingness to obey?

Maria fell back, ordering me to take two women walking a few feet away.

I processed this, and then acted, flying across the space between us and wrapping my arms around the girl's necks. I pushed them into an alley between two of the houses, crushing them to the wall as I drank from one neck and then the other.

Maria was ecstatic; she kissed my lips, muttering praises against them as her hands wrapped around my neck.

The rest of the night continued in the same fashion; them watching while I killed. The hunt was exhilarating and wondrous. Frightening and enthralling.

Enthralling because I loved the way all my senses were intensified. I heard footsteps of victims several streets down, tasted their blood, and felt their heartbeat ripple through me. And my body, I felt every minute movement of muscles and bones beneath my skin. I felt the joints in my fingers bending as I closed my fists, the balls of my feet pressing into the ground just before I leaped into the air.

But it was frightening, because I knew I was truly not human. I seemed to hiss as I flew through the air, and strike down my victims with otherworldly speed and strength. I could take a woman away from her husband's side without the man even noticing she was gone, and a moment later I could kill him.

It was late in the night when Maria finally ended this endless slaughter, taking my arm in her hands and pulling me alongside her as we departed back to the house.

When we returned home, Lucy and Nettie quickly departed to other rooms in the house while Maria and I went upstairs. We watched the sun rise beyond the railing of the balcony, our legs hanging over the edge.

She told me of what was to come, the wars and ambushes. I listened with mild curiosity, musing as to just how many of our kind there really were. She told me of the Volturi, warning me that they were never to be trifled with. Everything she told me seemed to be so impossibly _human. _Wars, territories, police that governed over us all, it just didn't seem as fantastical as I would have believed.

"But why do we fight? Why can't we all just co-exist in peace"?

Maria was quick to answer, saying that everyone lived this way, that no matter where in the world you went you would find warring covens and hostile nomads.

I didn't try to argue with her. She was the elder one even compared to Lucy and Nettie, she lived longer than my mind could comprehend.

I watched her touch my cheek, her expression stern.

"Know this, there can only be peace for so long. Even if you exile yourself to the deepest jungles you will still meet others who will try to slay you. The only way to exist is to fight. God gave us the gift to live once more, and it is our destiny to fight to keep that gift".

She kissed me again, the gesture seeming so devoid of any warmth of love.

The next few nights I hunted alone with Maria, rarely seeing Nettie or Lucy until we returned home just before dawn.

Maria had taught me how to attract the humans to me. I had to do next to nothing to do it, merely look at them. I didn't have to smile, glare, or smirk to draw them to me. They came willingly, stuck in a mute trance, their arms curling around my neck and head bending backward so their neck rested against my lips.

It was too easy. And Maria, she might have invented the technique because of how well she drew them to her.

I watched sometimes in shock as women and men crowded around them, all eagerly pressing against her. Sometimes she danced, swaying her hips back and forth smoothly as she grinned darkly.

It seemed as if an invisible rope was thrown out from her, coiling around her victim and pulling them to her. So helpless they seemed as they leaned against her shoulder, blank eyed and unsuspecting as her lips traced along their necks.

And she was not picky with her victims, not by any means. Man or woman, she took them against her bosom, kissing them briefly before she slew them.

I watched once as she took two brothel maids, courting them in the dimly lit room of the hotel. One laid on the bed beside her, her blue eyes turned up at her as Maria stroked the top of her head. The other was kissing Maria's neck, eagerly trying to draw her attention toward her. Maria turned toward her, lightly tugging away the sleeve of her dress as the woman moaned. She flashed me a wicked smirk as she pushed the girl onto her back, her fangs sinking into the soft flesh of her chest.

It was a vicious cycle of seduction and death, pleasure and pain, and Maria said it was to always be this way.

But as the weeks went on, I felt discontent with this; something was different in me, I was unlike Maria in so many ways.

Maria played with her prey, seducing or frightening them before she killed them. I preferred to kill them quickly; to not keep my gaze lingering on their unsuspecting faces just before I drained them. And Maria was indifferent after each kill, happy actually, almost to the point of singing. But I always felt the same, sad or in pain. I never understood why.

One rare night we hunted as a group; Maria, Nettie, Lucy and me. We paced along the edge of a camp full of soldiers Maria explaining to me that I must kill them quickly as one of these men might recognize me. I didn't believe her as we walked out of the trees, the men looking up at us sharply. How could they recognize me? I looked so monstrous with my red eyes and glowing skin.

Maria and I walked forward, Nettie at my side and Lucy at Maria's. Maria smiled coyly up at the captain, his eyes widening as he looked at each of us. After a brief explanation about being lost, Nettie and Lucy broke away, gliding around the perimeter of the camp. I remained at Maria's side, looking at one of the men staring up at me from beside the fire.

What did I look like to him? Did I appear to him as Maria, Nettie and Lucy did to me the day I died? Like a ghost? I could hear his heart quicken as I smirked, the corners of my lips pulling up.

Maria was against the captain, her lips pressed into his and her hands clenching his brown wavy hair.

I turned to look at him, a lustful glimmer in the man's eyes, but it quickly faded into horror as Maria's teeth pressed into his lips. The blood trickled down his jaw, maneuvering through his stubble as his eyes squeezed shut. She was tearing the poor man's lips to pieces and his men were oblivious. Maria trailed her hands down the man's shoulders, holding to his sleeves as she forced him backward to the ground.

He slumped forward, his head falling against his chest as Maria released his lips.

"Leave none alive". She hissed to me as I nodded sharply.

Before I could react, the camp erupted in chaos. Lucy and Nettie sprinted around, effortlessly taking men as they ran for their guns. Bodies flew through the air, crumpling on the grass as Maria entered the fray.

A man darted past me, and I wrapped my hands around his neck, pulling him to face me. His eyes widened, the veins in the corners tightening as he stared up at me. A flicker of recognition passed over his face as his lips quivered.

"W-w-Wh-Whit-Whitlock"! He screeched as I stared down at him.

_Whitlock? _That was my former name, did I know this man? I didn't give myself the moment to think on it, as my teeth were already in his neck sucking down every drop of his hot blood.

When everything was over, the camp was littered with bodies, Nettie and Maria snickering softly beside the fire. We piled the bodies into a large heap, Maria setting them aflame with a smirk.

I sat away from them; adjusting the coat I'd taken from one of the men to fit my body. Nettie laughed at me, floating to my side and brushing her fingers through my hair.

"Isn't that cute"? She sang as she kissed my cheek. "He's trying to become a soldier again! Do you miss being a weak human soldier Jasper"? She said into my ear as I turned toward her.

I glared at her silently, my hand clenching on my knee. "Actually I took this because I needed something new to wear. The clothes I was wearing when I died were rotting off my body, and I wasn't about to start wearing one of your dresses". I hissed as she laughed lightly.

"Oh I should very well hope not", She muttered as her eyes danced down my body. "We wouldn't want to cover up that taunt little physique now would we?" She unbuttoned the top most button, revealing my pale chest to the orange light of the fire.

"Nettie." Maria said sharply, her eyes narrowed. "Leave him be".

Nettie's expression darkened as she jumped away, folding her arms tightly as she strode to Lucy's side.

Everyone fell silent, nothing but the crackling of the embers and the sizzling of human hair filled the air. Maria was at my side, her arm wrapped around my waist and her head against my shoulder.

Nettie and Lucy fell into their own conversation as Maria traced her fingers lightly along my jaw. Suddenly her eyes flashed up, and the tense atmosphere became even tenser. She stared over my shoulder darkly, her face a mask of utterly frightening malice.

I glanced weakly to where her gaze lingered, on a thicket of trees not far from us.

Nettie and Lucy were beside us a moment later, hissing and crouched down defensively.

Before I could ask what everyone was so nervous about I felt it. Steady footsteps echoed on the grass as the scent of several other vampires washed over the air. I knew it immediately as I had come to know Maria, Lucy and Nettie's scents, this one was foreign to me.

I could scarcely detect the number of the vampires, I guessed four, dead even. Rising to my feet Maria moved with me.

"You remember what I said about leaving none alive"? She hissed as her eyes remained on the trees.

I nodded slowly, feeling the aura of the stranger's envelope us.

"That includes our kind. Leave none alive, kill everyone and tear them to pieces."

I briefly felt nervous but then became calm and confident. Perhaps it was Maria's doing, she was so close to me I could feel her arrogance. She was ready, eager for the coming fight, and that made me eager as well.

They leaped out of the trees, hissing and growling as they flew through the air toward us.

* * *

.


	4. Chapter 4 Monsterous

It all happened so quickly; my head was swimming under the weight of the screams and thrashing vampires all around me.

There was no warning, nothing coridual about it, they attacked us ruthlessly, two women and two men, hissing and kicking and screeching. One of the woman collided with Maria, taking her to the ground swiftly as Nettie and Lucy attacked the man and woman.

I had only a minute to process everything before one of the males were on top of me. An animal he was; red eyes, claws shooting at my face, fangs gleaming with venom in the light of the fire. I put my hands on his throat, literally terrified by his crazed expression.

What could provoke such hatred? Such animosity? These creatures didn't even know us and yet here they were going for blood, trying to tear us apart!

"Jasper fight"! Maria screamed at me, her hand wound deep in the girl's hair. "Fight him! Kill him before he kills you!" She kicked the woman back, watching her tumble across the grass.

I pushed the man away, his body soaring through the air and into the trunk of a tree. Six feet at least, that had to been how far I threw him, and without even trying. I jumped across the space between us, my hands closing around his neck, thudding his head on the ground. Something in me was awakening, I could feel it. Slowly it was flowing through my veins, finally reaching my brain and clouding any coherent thought.

Rage, unbridled rage filled me. I dug my nails deep into his eye sockets, watching the fragile orbs burst beneath my thumbs. He screamed loudly, his hands closing around the back of my head, pulling my face toward his neck.

I suddenly felt a piercing in my skin, his teeth tearing and ripping. The pain was unimaginable, just like when Maria had killed me. Fire erupted under my skin before I finally couldn't take anymore.

I placed both hands on the sides of his head, a growl tearing up my throat as I glared down at him. I pressed my hands into his temples, feeling the bones cracking beneath them. I screamed loudly, the air around me seeming to shatter as I did. I snapped his head between my hands, feeling the blood pool in my palms, and the thrashing stopped, the screaming as well. His skull lay in pieces in my hand, blood and hair matted together with the bone.

I dropped his lifeless corpse to the ground, turning to face the others.

I took up the woman attacking Maria, crushing her head just as easily as I did the man's. The other woman proved more of a challenge; biting my chest and wrist just before I smashed her face into the ground and launched her into the prye. The last man I killed quickly, his body folding in half as I threw him into the flames.

Maria, Lucy and Nettie were staring at me awestruck, their eyes wide and jaws slack.

I was panting like a beast, my shoulders quivering and my hands clenching. I looked sharply at Maria as she took a step toward me.

"Jasper. It's over. Calm down." She whispered as her eyes flickered over my face. "You've done well. I knew you would". She smiled darkly, taking several quick steps forward. Her arms wrapped tightly around my waist, her head sliding against my chest as she embraced me.

"Marvelous. Even as a new born, such promise". Lucy whispered, her eyes glimmering as she faced the man lying dead beneath the tree.

I turned my eyes there as well, gasping softly despite myself. Did I really do that? I suddenly felt extremely weak like I should collapse. But i did not as I knew I wouldn't. I leaned against Maria's shoulder, my hand weaving in her hair.

She looked up at me silently, her hand brushing across my neck.

"Let's go home". She muttered as Lucy and Nettie disposed of the male's body in the fire, making the flames leap high above my head. "Come on." She was tugging me to follow her as she turned away.

We started running, she and I, the light of the fire fading into the darkness behind us. I couldn't sense Lucy or Nettie anymore, they were miles behind us.

We jumped over the balcony, landing in our bedroom with a soft thud. Maria's hands were already pawing down my body; brushing across my hair and adjusting my clothes. She was acting like a mother, but that is just what she was. I was her proud son, a prodigy. She created me, made me a monster, and what I did made her proud.

But I couldn't bring myself to feel anything beyond shame. I was ashamed of myself, I was so crazed, I became just what he was. I didn't just kill him, I brutilized him, all of them.

"What's the matter"? Maria said strongly, her hand resting against my cheek.

I looked down at her silently, my fingers trailing through her hair.

"You did what you had to do." She muttered as her eyes locked with mine. "You killed your enemy, he would have done the same to you".

"Then why does it feel so wrong"? I said before I could stop myself.

"Come". She whispered looking over me briefly before gliding into the bathroom.

She lit the oil lamps gracefully, filling the room with a sensual glow. She ran the bath, filling the ivory tub with water as I stood in the doorway.

In a trance I was, not really seeing the room or her or myself.

Her hands were on her shoulders, drawing away her sleeves to reveal her pale skin. She glanced back at me over her shoulder, the shadows of the lamps dancing across her face. She dropped the dress to the ground, standing before me like a prestine dark angel, her skin bare and glimmering. A moment later she was in front of me, smirking up at me.

I watched her in silence as she quietly started to undress me.

She placed her hands on the buttons of my coat, gliding it off my shoulders. Her hands traced down my chest, pulling off my shirt and then my trousers. Her lips brushed across mine, her hands weaved into my hair and her fingers floated over my skin, awakening sensations that I would think should have died along with my human self.

I slid into the tub, Maria settling on my lap as her hands dropped onto my shoulders.

"Let me tell you this", She began as her nails grazed across my skin. "I know part of your human heart is still inside of you". She whispered touching her hand on my chest. "And I know that it will pain you to kill again," She looked into my eyes strongly, her gaze trying to convey some false understanding. She did not know my pain, how could she? How could Lucy or even Nettie know of it? "But this is our life. Violence is unavoidable as is death. We are the bringers of death not only to the humans but to our enemies. We have been blessed with speed and strength that humans can only dream of. And others will seek to destroy us because they fear us. But you must fight, you must persevere and live on. Feel no guilt and look at them as monsters, murders, whatever you must, but kill them before they kill you." Her hand touched against my neck and I felt a sudden jolt of pain.

I watched as she traced her fingers along the glimmering crescent shaped wound on my chest and the matching one on my arm. Truthfully they weren't the same, you could see the subtle differences in the shapes of the teeth in my skin. I ran my fingers over my arm, wincing slightly. It still burned, but gradually the pain was fading. I watched the wound dull into a pale scar just below my wrist.

"Who's to say that we deserve this right? To be angels of death? How could God allow such creatures to exist?"

Maria was watching me silently, her dark eyes glimmering beneath her lashes.

"Listen to me," She muttered drawing my gaze to her face. Her hair hung down her shoulders and chest, like black cloth it hung smooth and flawlessly. Her finger pressed into my lips. "This is God's will. Would you have preferred to die on a battle field? Bullet ridden and quivering as the enemies horses trample your body? Or will you accept this life that I have given you, the one God has given you?"

I looked up at her, my head leaning backward against the side of the tub. "As to whether I wanted to die in battle or live as a monster, it is too late to decide that now. You have already done that. You took the life I had and gave me this one. But if it is God's will then whom can deny it?"

She smirked darkly, her lips glimmering in the light. "Yes. Who are you to deny God"? She whispered leaning forward and kissing my lips lightly. "Look at it this way, you're doing God's will. You are exterminating the weaker humans, and the malicious vampires. You are good and just. And I will help you in losing your guilt and cure you of the ailments associated with your human heart." She kissed me again, her hands encircling around the back of my neck.

It suddenly became so intimate. Yet still it felt empty. There was that nagging feeling again. The one that told me that her words and her kisses were nothing but a means of keeping me bound to her. But either way I could not fight back. I accepted her justifications and bound myself to her.

Maybe she was right. Maybe in time I will not feel so strongly about killing, maybe I could find some strength. Somehow maybe I could make myself truly good, and worthily of a place on this earth.


	5. Chapter 5 Change of Heart

Something changed in me after that day, or maybe I accepted something that I had always refused to. I took on Maria's beliefs that we were creatures of God as evil as we were. I believed that by some divine right we were given the power to live, and therefore given a purpose in the world. And Maria gave me my purpose; we would kill every vampire coven we came in contact with and rule over the humans without their knowledge.

Soon we were building an army, 'God's army' she called it. I watched as she killed four men in the dead of night, making them into newborn vampires.

It was very traumatic, yet still not as much as my own death. But it was like reliving a nightmare; watching Maria creep toward them looking innocent and fragile, leaning forward and biting them thus making them one of us. I had to turn away because the process horrified me and I felt extreme pity for them.

They were different than me, at least according to Maria. They were wild and untrainable, trying to attack not only the humans but us as well. Several times one of the men tried to turn on Maria and I, and he actually got his hands around Lucy's neck before I threw him off. I tried to calm him and by some miracle it worked, he ceased his attack and relented to me. I don't know how I did it, but I told him to be calm in my mind and he obeyed.

Maria beamed at me, a realization flashing across her eyes. She said that was my gift, something God had blessed me with. She said she had felt it immediately upon meeting me, a compelling invisible force that put her at ease despite the thirst she felt. She concluded also that my gift allowed me to feel the emotions of others and that is why I felt such pain after killing humans. But I was not to accept this gift, not the feeling human's fear part. She told me to disregard it, as it would be a weakness, so I tried to do that.

But when it came to manipulating the emotions of the new borns, Maria said it was necessary. They were too wild, and they would expose us if I didn't reel them in. So I did, and she put me in charge of them.

I was made to train them in the ways of combat and hunting. I taught them to use their vampire abilities to move unnoticed through the night. For some reason this felt familiar to me, I suppose it was because that was my job as a human, to train and lead. I was fine with it. It made Maria happy and that seemed to be all I wanted to do anymore. Make her happy.

I did everything I had to do and eventually we grew to live in peace. We lived in our lavish plantation home, surrounded by fine furniture and rugs that we'd stolen from our victims.

There were nights I'd lay on the porch, Maria draped over my chest as I listened to her speak of her dreams. They were always the same. She wanted power but also peace in her world. She wanted to hunt freely across wide expanses of land without fear of others coming to claim what was hers. I suppose that was just her nature, perhaps in life she was a slave or poor, and that is why she surrounded herself with loyal minions and lavish things. I wouldn't know, I never dare ask her.

We rarely saw any other vampire covens, just roaming nomads that scattered when we neared them. I could feel Maria's anxiousness as she wanted to fight. But we were not yet ready, not the new borns anyway.

Eventually Maria taught me how to make new borns, which allowed me to seek out new soldiers for our army. The first few times I tried, I killed them, unable to deny the taste of their blood. But soon I perfected it just as I'd done with everything she taught me, and I was stalking through the night for those worthy to serve us. It was kind of strange to me, this new power.

I was becoming more like a God than ever before. I decided who lived and died, who I drained and who I made into a vampire. And I sought them out meticulously, using my gift to find them. The ones who didn't fear me were the ones I chose to make into vampires. They were strong willed enough to not be afraid of a strange pale creature approaching them from the shadows, and even sensing that I was something to fear they were not afraid, so there for they wouldn't fear anyone.

But our time of peace was short lived, lasting only a few months. Maria and several new borns were attacked by a small group of nomads, and this infuriated her as well as me. She wanted revenge, and her hunger for a fight was growing stronger. She asked me if our army was ready and I told her the answer she longed to hear.

In retrospect that might have been a bad idea as she threw us into battle.

We took our coven to Monterrey, traveling along the outskirts of the city. A great battle was approaching and I craved the fight almost as much as Maria. When we were finally about to attack, I was brimming with anticipation.

We sprinted down into the city, a mass of new born vampires moving like a wave beneath the moon. The opposing coven had no idea what was coming for them. We slew them easily, and strangely enough I felt excited, thrilled really by the fight. I showed off mostly, slaying our enemies quickly much to Maria's delight. We took up residence in their small coven house, watching the high pyres burn with the bodies of our victims.

Maria kissed me eagerly, grinning and praising me as she led me to the bedroom.

The nights after were filled with celebration, and we killed freely, and made handfuls of more new borns.

But she was not satisfied with just having Monterrey, she wanted more. And soon, her lust for power would bring more enemies that we could have ever anticipated.

* * *

.


	6. Chapter 6 Companions Or Enemies?

We sat in our bedroom one night, looking out to the dark sky as I vaguely listened to the conversations going on downstairs.

Maria leaned against my shoulder her arm wrapped around my waist. I glanced down at her, noting all the little things I'd seen everyday. Her eyes, her slender nose, her tiny soft lips. She looked angelic almost. Beneath the stars she looked so innocent, her expression so clild like, though I knew there was so much more beyond that facade. She looked up at me slowly, smiling lightly.

"Do you love me Jasper"? She whispered as her finger glided across my jaw.

I couldn't answer her, my voice had disappeared.

Love her? Did I love her? What could a vampire define as love? Devotion is one thing, I was very much devoted to her. But love? No. I don't think I love her, not in the way she wanted me to. Not as humans define love. I shook my head weakly, watching her expression soften.

"What I meant is, do you want to see me happy"? She tilted her head to the side as I nodded.

"Of course." I muttered as she grinned. "But are you not happy now? You have a territory that is all your own."

"Yes, that is all very well but," She trailed off as her eyes flickered out toward the horizon. "It isn't enough to survive. Others will come to take this place, they will try to kill us."

"They cannot succeed, we are too strong." I said leaning away from her, trying to understand her expression. It was fearful, for the first time in her life she was afraid. But she was trying desperately to hide it. Her expression hardened, and she became stern.

"We cannot become too comfortable, we must extend our reach and claim more territories." her hands fell on to the sides of my face as she stared into my eyes intently. "I want you to take several newborns out into the surrounding territories, I want you to claim them in my name." She smiled darkly, her lips brushing over mine as she often did to gain my trust.

"Alright." I said hesitantly, still not voicing my concerns. What could I say? This is what Maria wanted, and I had to give her what she wanted.

I rose to my feet, quickly ascending over the railing to gather the new borns and carry out her will.

Throwing open the front doors, I was greeted by Lucy and Nettie's dark glares. I had never seen them look at me this way, and for a second I shuttered. I could sense that they were talking about me not a moment before and I had stumbled in on the last part of their conversation. This saddened me. I thought they were my sisters, fighting with me side by side in combat, but here they were glaring at me.

I tried to ignore their glares as I called forward several of the stronger new borns; four of the younger males and one female. I glanced back at Nettie and Lucy as I turned away, their expression had not changed.

We disappeared out into the night, sprinting across state lines, claiming every territory we passed through. By nights end we had killed three small covens and conquered their lands. It was easy enough as no one was a match to us. When we returned home Maria had another task for us waiting.

The next three weeks we sought out and killed every coven near and far from us and claimed miles of land. Yet still Nettie and Lucy's animosity grew stronger.

The room was stifling every time they were in it. They glared from Maria to me, muttering to each other when our eyes were turned. Maria had sensed this as well but disregarded it. She said it was merely jealousies and if it came to it we would slay them. Part of me didn't want to do it, but all of me had to obey. I prayed that it wouldn't come to that, but then again, who knows.

* * *

It was early december when Maria's predictions about others seeking to destroy us had come true.

I was sitting on the railing, my arm draped over my knee as I looked over the scar on my wrist. It was faint now, yet not healed. It would never heal. I had gained several other scars in training the new born, and my skin was slowly becoming covered in them. My ribs, my neck, my arms and hands, they all have groups of tiny crescent scars covering them. One of the newborns actually bit my jaw, so now I had a scar extending from my cheek down to my jaw bone.

Is this what I would have to continuously put up with? Training new borns and getting wounded when they attacked or I killed them? What other life could be out there for me. This was my life.

No sooner had I thought this, my body was frozen with panic. I could feel everyone emotions swell with fear downstairs and I leaped to my feet. Clenching the pillar, I stared out over the high gates of our compound at seven foreign vampires. They were running toward the gates, and as they approached, more of them came out of the shadows. I could feel Maria's anticipation of fear and knew where I needed to be. Leaping over the railing, I landed at her side, embracing her hand the moment I hit the ground.

"Kill them all". She whispered through her teeth as I smirked.

"I know." I was ready, and when her emotions surrounded me I knew it. I was going to kill every one of them and her emotions would give me the strength to do it. I wouldn't feel any fear or hesitation, so long as she filled the air with her confidence.

The vampires broke over the top of the wall, and Maria unleashed the new borns upon them.

The sound was deafening, the cracking of immortal bones and their painful screams.

I leaped into the fray, taking down two men as each of them hissed and tried to bite me. A woman attacked from behind, latching on my back and biting into my shoulder. I could feel Maria jerking her off, sending her flying through the air with a growl. I dismembered the men's bodies, piling them behind me as a new born readied the pyre.

It took less than an hour to kill our attackers, though two of them managed to escape. When everything was finally done, a pyre about ten feet high burned like a beacon in our field.

I winced slightly, touching my hand to the bite in my shoulder. Yet another scar it would become. Maria was beside me, her lips already brushing over my skin as she smiled up at me. I could feel her admiration yet I felt something else. Looking to the source I saw Nettie glaring at us.

Lucy was at her side another moment, both of them glaring at me as if they meant to throw me into the pyre as well. Why did they look at me in such a way? Why? Before I could muster the voice to ask them, they were gone, sprinting down the street into the city.

"Those two are going to be trouble." Maria said darkly as her hand weaved into my hair. "Seek them out and warn them, if they are looking for a fight, they will surely find one with me".

I looked down at Maria swiftly, appalled that she spoke such a way about our closest comrades. True vampires were not friendly with one another, but Lucy and Nettie were our companions from the very beginning. They fought with just as much ferocity as we did to protect what was ours, and she speaks of them as if they are our enemies. I watched her dark eyes flash with rage.

"Everyone is our enemies Jasper. Any one of these new borns could turn on us if they think it, Lucy and Nettie will bring us down if we do not put them in their place. Go now". She ordered softly as she turned back to the house.

I nodded weakly, suddenly feeling very unsure of myself. Lucy and Nettie were companions with Maria before me, who's to say she would not turn on me if given the opportunity? I shook the thought from my mind, instead focusing on going to speak with them myself. Breaking into a sprint, I leaped over the wall and into the streets in one bound.

I found them hunting in the town square, and when I approached they tensed.

"Well if it isn't Major Whitlock". Nettie hissed at me as I stopped a few feet from her. "What does the little witch need you to do for her"?

Lucy remained silent, staring at me with pity as well as anger.

"She wanted me to speak with you". I whispered as Nettie scoffed.

"Don't fool yourself Jasper, Maria does not waste her time with talking, there is another purpose for you coming here".

I fell silent, looking at my feet. "I wanted to speak with you."

"About what"? Lucy bit out, catching herself quickly. Her face became smooth and emotionless as she looked at me.

"You two are bothered obviously, why"?

Nettie shook her head, her arms folding. "We are going to die if we stay here". She snapped looking at me strongly. "Maria has attracted too much attention with her conquest for power. Others are going to come, in numbers far greater than you can imagine. They will slay every last one of us"! Nettie's anger was not as well concealed as Lucy's, she was outright furious the more she talked.

"We can hold them off, but you two must stay". I said as Lucy shook her head.

"She hasn't told you what happened before, about why we joined her did she"? Lucy said softly, her eyes softening. "Our covens were slain, desecrated by the Volturi because of leaders just like Maria"!

"We haven't done anything that would attract their attention. We-"

"Not yet. But how much longer do you think she will be satisfied with the few territories she posses? No much longer. She is power hungry, she won't stop until she controls everything her eyes fall on. She doesn't care about us, the new borns, not even you"! Nettie snapped as I shook my head.

"You are wrong". I stammered as she laughed wickedly, her blonde hair fluttering over her shoulders.

"Do you really believe she cares for you"? She hissed loudly. "She doesn't! Beautiful as you are, strong and kind as you may be, she doesn't care! You are used as a means of controlling her new borns and servicing her! When your usefulness wears out you will be slain by her hand."

I couldn't argue with her. I had lingering doubts that Maria's devotion to me was as strong as mine was to her, but never had I really entertained the idea that she would kill me. And Nettie spoke the truth, Maria needed me. "You two must stay". I finally said as Lucy glanced at me.

"You are young Jasper. In every sense of the word. You are naive. But I sincerely hope that you realize before the end that her lust for power will destroy you. And when you do, I hope you can escape her". She whispered as she walked past me, Nettie following closely behind. The two disappeared into the night, leaving me to muddle over their words until the sun began to rise in the sky.


	7. Chapter 7 Betrayed

Lucy and Nettie stayed with us, but I don't think my words had any effect on them. They were just there out of convience, they were alone and we offered them protection.

As time went on the battles didn't cease. We fought almost nightly, nomads and small covens attacking us to no avail. Our numbers dwindled yet we replenished them quickly. Only this time in making new borns, Maria didn't do it with very much care. She just picked people at random, not caring about strength or intelligence or any of that, she merely wanted someone to be between her and her enemies.

I thought about what Nettie and Lucy had said but not often enough that it changed my views toward Maria. Evil or not, Power hungry or otherwise, she was my creator, and I at least owed her my loyalty.

One night when I was able to have some freedom from the house, I wandered into town.

I walked along the streets in silence, glancing into the windows of the homes I passed. Something suddenly struck me, a thought that had never dawned on me since my birth into darkness.

I saw a family sitting in their home beside their hearth, all of their heads glimmering with sleek blonde hair.

I thought of my own family, only vaguely seeing their faces in my mind. Were they still alive? My siblings and my parents?

I had no concept of time as we did not measure our lives based off of hours, days or weeks, but rather battles we survived. But would they still be living? I stopped in my tracks, leaning against the wall with my hand hanging on my chin. I had never really thought much of them at all, and my memories did not serve as a good reference as they were blurry.

I only had a second to think about it before a painful spike of rage pierced me. I looked around swiftly, unable to find the source. I started running, scanning everything around me until it brought me to the gate of the house. There I froze, my eyes wide with fear as I knew the source.

I threw myself over the walls, landing on the grass just as Lucy and Nettie broke from the trees. They had not yet sensed me, but I knew what they meant to do.

I sprinted toward the house, throwing myself through the doors and up the stairs into our bedroom.

Maria looked at me quickly, her eyes searching my face as I pulled her behind me. Like two devils draped in crimson gowns, Lucy and Nettie flew over the balcony into the room.

"It's about time". Maria said arrogantly, looking over their faces.

"This has gone on long enough Maria, I will not subject myself to your will a second longer." Nettie hissed as Maria shrugged.

"Then leave if you like. I have no need for you". Maria's arm wrapped around my waist as she leaned her chin into my arm.

"You will rob this boy of his life! You don't care about him or anyone but yourself! Speak the truth for once in your life and free this child"! Lucy screamed as Maria let out a growl.

"He is mine"! She said through clenched teeth, tightening her grip on me. Her hands pressed into my stomach as she pulled me tighter against her.

"He is a pawn admit it! You have him begging to do your will just as you had once wanted of us! But he sees through your lies and if you don't release him it is only a matter of time till he kills you"! Lucy growled as Maria shook her head.

"You are wrong. Unlike you, he knows his place. He knows his purpose in the world and he dare not go against God by disobeying me"!

Nettie laughed darkly, her head tilting backward. "You're a fool as you've always been Maria. God has _nothing_ to do with you, it's quite the opposite. He is indifferent to you and he will sooner send the Volturi against you then bless your crusade for power."

"Then why has he blessed me thus far? The Volturi have not yet come and I am living. You two are fools to have gone against me and you will suffer the fate that you have delivered onto so many". Maria snickered as her nails dug into my shirt.

A second later, without even a verbal command, five newborns were behind Nettie and Lucy, wrestling them to the ground. Despite their tenacity they were nothing compared to the freshly made vampires. They were taken over the railing, and led, kicking and screaming to the funeral pyre. Maria took my hand tightly, swiftly pulling me out to the balcony to watch their destruction.

I watched horrified as they were torn apart, their limbs tossed carelessly into the flames. I had burned many vampires, and seen many die, but none was more heart wrenching than seeing them burn. My sisters. The only companions I had known apart from Maria, gone in an instant.

Again I felt weak, and leaned against the railing as the fire crackled below. It was like reliving my first kill all over again, the pain of the act and the emotions that threatened to tear me apart. I fell to my knees, leaning my head into the wood as their screams faded away. Maria was against me, her arms wrapped around my shoulders as she whispered into my neck. Her words meant nothing, I heard nothing my their voices in my mind.

Why? Why did they have to die? They could have escaped? Maria could have freed them? Why did they have to come here and seek out a fight? Had they even thought that this would be their fate? I stiflied a whimper, closing my eyes tightly as Maria stroked my chest.

Everything I'd known in this life was thrown into question.

It was long after the fire had died away and their bones were discarded did I rise from the ground. Weakly I turned to Maria, burying my face into her neck as she embraced me tightly.

* * *


	8. Chapter 8 Carrying On

In the nights after their deaths I remained in my room, my mind black and empty. The only time I left was to fight, as attacks against us were becoming more frequent.

Maria attempted to comfort me, in the only way she knew how, telling me it was God's will and such. I ignored her. I didn't respond as she touched me or kissed me. I didn't move when she lay beside me, her arm closed over my chest and her head against my shoulder.

Weeks began to drag by and my thirst was causing me immense pain. But I didn't go out to hunt. My raw heart was still too pained by watching Lucy and Nettie die to be able to suffer through emotions coupled with killing humans. I lay on the floor of the bedroom, staring up at the ceiling in silence.

Many conversations passed through my memory. Small moments when I spoke to Lucy or Nettie privately. Though I was so deeply involved in a world of violence that was intensified by sheer hate, I felt I had comrades. I still felt some warmth and comfort in my companionship with Nettie and Lucy. Even if they never acknowledged it until their deaths I knew they cared for me to. We were like a family, even though we were brought together out of convenience, for a time we still were close.

But it was pointless now. Their bones were dust buried beneath the earth and I was slowly rotting away because of my thirst.

Unwillingly I drew myself from my mind, and went out into the world to hunt.

I hunted for hours that night, but still only killing two humans. Mostly 'hunting' was an excuse to be free of my thoughts. I really just wandered around town watching the humans and basking in the warmth of their peaceful emotions. It was comforting, almost like a gentle hands placed holding tightly to my crumbling soul. It wouldn't really help it, but it lessened the pain.

When I returned home at dawn, I had no more time to dwell on my emotions or thoughts. Violence had broke out again, and I found myself fighting another band of vagabond nomads. When it ended I was left thinking; could this really be my life for the rest of eternity? Endless death and fighting? No.. I couldn't accept such a fate. But what could I do to stop it?

* * *

As a few more years passed life continued in that same routine, but to my amazement, the battles became few and far apart. Instead of fearing an ambush I was almost able to enjoy my life, that is until the remorse of killing humans crawled back into my consciousness.

When we were fighting constantly I rarely thought on it. I fed quickly because I needed strength to fight. And sometimes Maria presented a human victim to me as a 'gift' though it was by no means a gift to me. But when I was free to feed without any real need to, I was tortured by it.

It was a curse really, to feel their fear as I killed them. And every 'gift' presented me with a challenge. I had to fight my lust for their blood so that I would not be crippled by the guilt after. But as always I killed them, and as always I wept inside. I was truly so weak. The only time I ever felt strong was when I was fighting. But in fighting I felt numb and monstrous.

Why the hell was I so conflicted? Why couldn't I just be how every crazed newborn and ambushing coven, unapologetic and cruel?

I thought I would never find another to understand my dilemma until a fateful night.

Maria and I had gone out to search for new borns, as we had to replenish our numbers from the last battle three months before. She quickly took up several of them, allowing me to seek out ones I wanted.

I wandered off on my own, distancing myself from her. I couldn't take her emotions, and needed seclusion.

As I drew close to the tavern, I smelt the air.

It was thick with smoke and rum and the voices of many drunken farmers echoed through the thin walls.

I slipped inside smoothly, settling myself at a table far from the commotion in the center of the room.

It was entertaining to watch humans acting so 'naturally'. I rarely had time to appreciate them when we were so engrossed in fighting. They were merely sustenance for either our coven or the attacking ones. But at times like this they were merely human. They had histories and personalities, families and drunken stories to tell. It made me feel a connection to my former life that should have been destroyed over the years. I felt almost human. I felt as if I belonged there, pretending to drink and listening to gallant tales of fighting and courting women. That is until a human passed too closely and I found myself draining them dry in the alley. But tonight was different. I fed earlier in the night so that I would be at peace. And I was for a while. I sat back and watched as a couple of men talked loudly a few feet from me.

Their voices rang through my ears and in one I picked up a french accent. He must have been creole, and come here from Louisiana. I was right as he spoke of a life in New Orleans. I smirked despite myself as the conversation quickly turned violent, and the two men rolled past my feet, punching and grunting.

I rose carefully from the chair, taking myself out the back door just as the room erupted into chaos. Ah alas, better to dwell in the world of chaos that I was accustomed to, rather than the drunken bar brawls of humans.

As I strode back toward the main road, I spotted Maria standing alone. She nodded to me as I approached, her hand clenched around the collar of a man whom hung limply against her leg.

"This one is a good one". she said softly as I glanced down at the man. "I think he'll make a fine addition."

I shrugged at her as I looked down at his face.

He was very handsome, even for being human. He had wavy dark hair and a slender face, broad shoulders and long arms. His hands were callused and scarred, the hands of a farmer.

"Should we return home?" I said taking the man's body onto my shoulder as she nodded swiftly. We turned and walked down the street at a human's pace, ascending the hilltop to our house smoothly.


	9. Chapter 9 Civilized

We took the new borns home, barricading them in the basement. Their screams passed through the walls easily, unnerving the older newborns. They writhed and cried out in pain, some even scratching at the door to break free. They were in such torment, and I pitied them, but I had been around newborns long enough to not linger on pity. The process went quickly for some, longer for others, but either way I couldn't bear to be near the house when they transformed. It was just too painful, feeling their pain as if it were my own. Instead I stood at the gate with a few of the older new borns flanking me just in case we were attacked. Not like it would have made a difference, I was stronger and faster than any of them.

I looked up as Maria approached, dismissing them silently. As they disappeared from sight, she stopped in front of me, looking up into my eyes.

"What is it?" I whispered as she continued to stare.

"I have a task for you". She said slowly as I shrugged.

"Training the new borns has always been my task I am well accustomed to-"

"That's not what I meant. I don't want you to train all of them, just one. Focus on him."

"Just one"? I said as she nodded slightly. "But why"?

"I think he will be good under your care. He isn't like the others I can sense it. I want you to train him exclusively." She said looking back over her shoulder. "Peter". She said softly to the air as a man walked forward hesitantly.

He was the same man I'd seen her with when we went searching for new borns, I knew that instantly. He was much more handsome now that he was made into a vampire. But we all became beautiful when given this devilish gift. His red eyes turned to me quickly, his entire body tensing.

"Peter this is Jasper, you will answer to him from now on understand"? Maria said coldly as Peter nodded slowly.

I could already tell he sensed my strength, and I'm sure the many scars on my skin were some indication that I could easily kill him. He looked up at me slowly, defiance glimmering softly behind his eyes. I didn't mind. It'd been so long since I'd fought a worthy opponent that if he challenged me it'd be a good fight. But I didn't want to think about killing him, something else in his gaze showed that he deserved to live.

Maria kissed my neck quickly before she disappeared back into the house, leaving Peter and I to stare each other down.

"Come." I muttered as he remained motionless.

Slowly he moved as I turned away, leaping over the gate onto the dirt road. He followed a few paces behind me as I walked out to the fields far from the town. I didn't really feel afraid that my back was exposed to him, a little weary yes, but not afraid. My instincts told me to be weary of newborns as did my many encounters with them. But I had faith that he wouldn't attack me. And I was right as I remained unharmed the entire way to the fields.

Turning to face him, I gestured him to sit. He looked at me for a moment, his expression confused before he lowered himself onto the grass.

"You aren't going to teach me are you"? He said carefully as I shook my head.

"There is plenty of time for fighting. Truthfully I don't feel up to it right now." As I spoke I could feel a pounding in my head, even though as a vampire I shouldn't have head aches. It was the mental strain of always having to suffer people's emotions that weared on me. It got quite bothersome and I needed to seek out a quiet place to calm myself down. "Besides much of what I learned could have been learned in conversation rather than fighting. What I can offer you is different than what she would."

"What is that"? He said folding his hands on his lap as his brows rose.

"Insight." I said simply, closing my eyes and letting the wind sweep across my face.

"Insight"? He mimicked as I nodded.

"Maria did a well job of leading me into this lifestyle, but I suppose I could do a better job. She didn't really prepare me for everything I would be subjected to. If you choose to listen then it should make your life fairly easier."

I could feel his apprehension and tried to calm him. His emotions instantly became more at ease and I knew he would be ready to listen to everything I had to say. I opened my eyes and looked at him as he sat perfectly still, not breathing or blinking for several minutes.

"First of all, what are we"? He looked into my eyes, a glimmer of intellect appearing.

"Devils really.." I said softly without even meaning to. "Cursed creatures wandering in a world we should have been gone from the moment we died."

Peter nodded, his gaze thoughtful. "Were you killed as I was"? He said suddenly to break the silence. I watched him touch his hand to his neck unconsciously, obviously thinking about the pain he felt when Maria bit him.

"Yes. I was killed because I was naive. I believed Maria and the other two were refugees," I felt a dull ache in my chest as I thought back to that moment. Was it perhaps because I mourned the loss of my human life? Or was it because it reminded me of the two comrades Maria had slaughtered before my very eyes? Hard to say. I looked up at Peter as he sat silent, expecting me to continue. "Anyway it doesn't matter now." I rose to my feet, watching him do the same. "Come with me. I'll try to explain everything to the best of my ability." I muttered as I started walking, Peter cautiously coming to my side.

That night I took Peter to hunt, and was pleasantly surprised. He didn't attack as wildly as the other newborns I trained. He was graceful and civilized, drawing the humans to him effortlessly, just as I showed him to do. He looked to me like I supposed I looked to Maria that first night, and his quick progress satisfied me.

We walked home just before dawn, Peter questioning me the entire way. He asked me of previous battles we'd fought and about every scar across my preternatural skin. He wanted to know the name of every vampire victim I killed and how powerful each of them were. His questioning unnerved me. I never liked to think about the ones I killed, much less humanizing them by acknowledging them by name.

He seemed to sense my unease and quickly fell silent as we entered the house.

Maria was thrilled when I told her of Peter's progress and she rewarded me handsomely.

The next nights passed swiftly, and Peter and I grew closer. We spoke of philosophy and religion, trying to decipher the meaning of our existence. We pondered different questions, our conversations lasting well into the night. But besides me Peter enjoyed the company of a beautiful woman named Charlotte. The two of them grew intensely close, and their relationship did not bother me as much as it did Maria.

But there wasn't any time to focus such trivial things, and tensions arose oncemore among the covens. The battles begun again and the peace that I had recently found, was quickly destroyed.


	10. Chapter 10 Seeking Peace

The wars between the covens erupted once more, and all of us were thrust into battle.

Peter was marvelous; graceful and deadly, killing the opposing vampires just as easily as I did. But the difference between he and I was still that I felt remorse over having to kill on such a large scale. He, like Maria, seemed indifferent, yet still a little empathetic, but not as much as me.

Usually after the ambushes he and I would hunt. We'd talk at lengths about many things until the sun crawled into the sky. But he just didn't seem to understand my torment, though he tried to be as helpful as he could with his advice.

I still felt alone..Why after so many years of fighting must I still feel pity for the dead? Why must I shame myself into hiding with my guilt? Why was I still so different? My answer had not yet come and I wondered if it ever will. Would I always feel this way? It surely seemed like it.

The years trickled by and the fighting calmed a bit, mostly due to the involvement of several Volturi scouts. Peter and I watched from the outskirts of the fray as seven cloaked vampires descended upon the troublesome coven house. Quickly the coven was slaughtered and their nest was burned, and then the scouts disappeared into the night from whence they came.

Peter was flabergasted, asking me how such creatures exist.

"They govern us. When a coven becomes too powerful or too bothersome, they are eliminated. And the humans are none the wiser afterward. We are but a speck of dust in their world, as powerful as we are. But we can just as easily be wiped away by the Volturi."

Peter remained silent, staring at the spot where the cloaked men disappeared. "I wish there was another way." He said suddenly.

I looked at him as his expression softened, his eyes shifting in his head to look at me.

"We shouldn't have to suffer such violence just to have control over land. There is enough of the world that we needn't fight."

"But Maria said-"

"Maria has said lots of things hasn't she? But what does she know of the world besides this senseless violence? She was born into fighting just as you were and that is all she knows. But has she ever lived in a place where she needn't fight? Somewhere scarce of vampires with a small collection of humans to hunt and a place in which to retreat to? There has to be something more to this life than just fighting for territory."

"Maria said you could go into the deepest of jungles and still happen upon vampires. And they will not be civilized as you and I are, they will kill the moment you enter their territory".

"But who's to know? Maybe such creatures could be reasoned with. Maybe there is a place where one can find solitude. Perhaps further south, near the ruins of the ancient civilizations. I am sure not many vampires would choose to live in a place like that".

I thought on it for a moment, looking at the sky. He was definitely a dreamer, we'd established this long ago. Peter dreamed of peace and spoke so often of it he believed in it so thoroughly who was I to say anything. I simply nodded, looking back at him. "I surely hope someday we could find such a place. If such a place truly exists". I rose to my feet, Peter doing the same, we walked back to the coven house where Maria was waiting for us in silence.

* * *

Though the coven wars had died down, troublesome vampires still arose to fight us, bitter over painful losses and slain mates. Some ventured onto our land during the day, seeking out Maria and I as we had 'taken from them what was most precious'. It always ended in the same way, they were slain, by my hand or one of the newborns. But Maria never fought them. Why should she? Her army could do for her anything she could do herself.

I noticed a distinct change in her personality as of late. She became more reclusive and paranoid, locking herself away and not even allowing her guard to be near her. It almost seemed as if she were plotting something, but perhaps I was paranoid as well. Maybe for once in her life she was weary of fighting, and just wanted solitude.

At any rate, Peter and I were still minions of hers, and we carried out the orders she spoke to us through the locked door of her bedroom.

Peter managed the newborns, while I trained them. It was a team effort, and I was grateful of Peter's company when it came time to slay the newborns.

It had always been my task, and Maria rarely helped me do it. But at least with Peter it lessened the guilt I felt afterwards. To a degree. The guilt of course never left me.

Sometimes we took a couple of newborns out to be slain, sometimes a handful, depending on the circumstances. When I first had been given this task by Maria, the newborns were not aware of their fate. But more recently they began speaking to one another, and they fought Peter and I when it was their moment to die. Some were strong, throwing Peter or myself away as they made a mad dash for safety. Others were cunning, trying to turn my tactics against me. Others were just brash, biting and clawing away at us as we encircled them.

Peter only sustained a few scars on his hands. As opposed to myself with my many scars covering every visible inch of skin, save one particular area of my anatomy. And my scars were not just physical, but mental. Sometimes I couldn't even continue, and had to leave Peter to finish off the remainder as I fled into the trees.

It was one summer night when he and I had to purge a large group of them. Together we stood by the pyre, calling forth newborn after newborn. It was simple enough in the beginning, some went easy, some fought, same as always. It wasn't until well into the night when we almost completed the process.

I raised my hand into the air, calling forth a woman from the line. It was Charlotte of course. I didn't want to slay her but she was beyond her year mark and she was quickly getting weaker. As she stepped hesitantly forward, I saw something flash in Peter's eyes. For a second I disregarded it, but then he did something I could not have seen coming.

He yelled at her from his place opposite of the pyre, and she ran toward him. His eyes flashed up at me swiftly as his hand thrust into the flames, scattering several of the burning logs. His fist twisted in pain as he pulled his blistered hand from the fire, wrapping it protectively around Charlotte. In one bound, he disappeared into the trees with her, leaving a trail of smoldering embers behind him.

It took me a moment to realize what he had done.

He was escaping, taking Charlotte with him so that she would not be slain. I guess their connection was far stronger than I once thought.

I looked over the fallen logs and then back at the trees. My mind said that I should chase after him, as he had disobeyed Maria and saved one of them who should have been killed. But I didn't. Peter deserved better than that. He deserved to seek out his 'peaceful' territory of ruins and his 'peaceful' existence with Charlotte. I wouldn't stop him unless I truly needed to.

I faced the awestruck handful of newborns, who looked at me fearfully. Quickly I annihilated them, tossing their dismembered bodies into the flames before sprinting back to the house.

I passed up the stairs to Maria's bedroom, hand closing around the knob. When I opened the door, Maria looked up at me passively from her place on the balcony. She nodded weakly before turning away, her long hair fluttering in the breeze. I glided to her side, resting my hands on the railing as she remained silent.

"He has left hasn't he". She said softly as I nodded. "I expected he would. Such a passionate man he was, just as you are. I knew he would not let that girl be slain".

"You expected this and yet did nothing to stop it"? I muttered as she nodded.

"There was no point. He had no will to fight for me, had he remained he'd attempt an attack on me just as Lucy and Nettie once tried." Maria's expression was stoic as she shook her head. "You didn't want to give chase? You simply let him go"? She muttered looking at me darkly.

"It's as you said, there was no point. Besides I don't think Peter would attempt an attack on you, he longs for peace."

She laughed dryly, her eyes shutting. "Still so naive Jasper. But I still love that naivety all the same". Her hand closed around mine as she stared deeply into my eyes. "Besides, I have bigger plans for us. And Peter just would not have figured into them so nicely, it is better this way". She leaned up to kiss me before she turned away and went to the vanity.

I looked back over the skyline, saying a silent prayer for my peace loving comrade. May he find all that he seeks, and do it without killing.

* * *


	11. Chapter 11 Glimpse of the Past

Time passed slower then, after Peter left. I couldn't understand why..

Peter was my friend and someone who understood the pointlessness of all this fighting. He shared my dreams of peace, even if I never vocalized them as much as he did. Now that he was gone, I felt suddenly empty again, as I did when Lucy and Nettie died.

So to pass the time, I wandered the streets as I did once before. And my trips became more frequent, as I wanted to spend less and less time in the house. Mostly because Maria seemed so distant, even more so than before. She was angry that I'd allowed Peter to escape with that newborn, but she didn't say anything about it, she merely ignored me. All the same, I was used to being alone by now.

I looked up suddenly from my aimless walking, to find myself in a graveyard not far from my childhood home. Without my own knowledge I'd past over the wall, leaping it effortlessly, as if it weren't even there. Suddenly I found my body cold and numb as I stared over the many tomb stones. Slowly I began walking, taking careful steps through the overgrown grass and weeds. Each place I stepped on held a body, someone's mother or father or grandfather, humans who's time on this earth had finally come to an end. How lucky they were, to be able to die, they didn't even know how truly lucky they were. They needn't suffer through decades of loneliness and violence, all they need to do is fall asleep one night and not wake up or fall ill with a sickness. How easy. Part of me still wished I could die so easily, perhaps then my suffering would end.

I stared around silently, mentally noting the names on each of the stones I passed. Entire families, killed either by the war or a thirsting vampire. How many of these humans fell victims to vampires I wondered.. How many were slain by a crazed newborn on a feeding frenzy? How can one tell? Would they just be mistaken for the victim of a theif, or a john who happened upon the wrong whore? Would their families study their corpses, and question their loved one's passing? Would they damn the creature who could slay them so mercilessly?

I stopped, my eyes widening as I happened upon a grave that had been recently filled. Looking over the names on the head stones, I felt my heart drop.

There, before me, lay my mother and father, side by side beneath the ground and the mossy headstone. I brushed my fingers over the stone, taking away the fresh moss that had grown there.

So they had died.. After so long, I never even thought about them. Had they wondered how I died? Questioned why a body was not brought back with the other victims of the war? Undoubtably. My father would surely question the government for not bringing home his son.. And my mother.. She would weep. How many nights had she lay awake thinking of her eldest child? How many tears fell upon her pillow as she anguished over my death?

Fear and remorse rippled through me, and I found myself backing away from the silent tombs of my parents. I broke into a sprint, dashing over the wall and into the fields that led into town. I needed to know that the rest of my house carried on without me, not as if that would be very comforting. I wanted to know if my brother grew into a well respected man, just as I'd always hoped. I just had to.

I ran for miles, passing through the town without a second glance from any of the inhabitants. I stopped abruptly, staring up at the high gates surrounding the plantation of my childhood.

I bounded over the walls, latching myself to the wall of the west wing of the house, there I could see the slave quarters in the distance. I followed the scent of blood to the small window that shone from the room of my brother when he was a baby. Then I saw a face.

Beyond the glass I saw a woman, young and beautiful. She was humming softly to the tiny bundle of cloth laying in her arm. Her long hair seemed to drip down her shoulders, glimmering in the light of the fire in the hearth. Her flawless hands brushed away the blanket, revealing the face of a small child. My throat went dry as the child's scent passed through the air to me. So sweet.. I watched the child open her wide eyes, peering up at her mother thoughtfully as dimples formed in her cheeks. The mother laughed lightly, her laughter soaked with the deep sensuallness of her voice. Again she brushed her finger over the child's face. Then the child looked, up, staring past her mother directly at me. My heart would have stopped had it been beating.

Then the door opened, and my brother appeared, tall and tan and blonde, no longer the little twelve year old boy I'd left the day I joined the Confederate army. He had the sleek features of our family, but there was something more. There was a ruggedness about him, as if he'd lived and seen more than he had ever been meant to. His blue eyes flashed down to his wife as he placed a light kiss onto her temple.

I was entranced, watching the scene with wide eyed curiosity. So happy they looked, so innocent. They didn't look as if they had a care or fear in the world. They were oblivious to the monsterous shadow looming just beyond the glass, ready to drain them of the life force.

The child looked again at me, this time wriggling her tiny hand out from beneath the blanket. Her small fingers contorted, bending and streching in the air. It was trying to wave, trying to manipulate her muscles to create the gesture. Finally she did it, and smiled at her accomplishment. She waved, staring expectantly at me for a response. I lifted my hand from it's place on the wall, carefully waving back at her. Laugher erupted from her tiny pink lips, jarring her parent's attention down to her.

My brother's eyes ticked up to the window, and I ducked away before he could see me. I could feel his fear in my chest and it remained long after he looked away. He must have known what looms in the darkness, but hopefully he did not know what I was and what I had done to so many innocent people.

I dropped down onto the grass, dashing away into the darkness feeling less fufilled then I should have. But why? Seeing my brother happy and healthy and in love should have brought me comfort, but it did not. I suppose I felt sad because I knew I could never have a life like that. I could never have a child or a wife or a life of bliss in the countryside. No..

I would never be allowed to have such a thing.. Not after all that I have done..


End file.
